Trash Box: A Real Housewives Podcast

Peeping Tomasinas & Scorpio Ramonas (w/ Viza DeCline)

This week Emily is joined by Canada's most critically ignored drag superstar, THEE Viza DeCline. We're talkin' New York City, Beverly Hills, and anxiously counting down to the premiere of Potomac this Sunday. 

First up is RHONY: Scorpio Ramona is a nightmare, LuAnn goes blue, Viza thinks Bershawn deserves a promotion, and how do you solve a problem like Leah? Then on RHOBH we talk about Erika's most recent legal issues, how much we appreciate both Crystal the Smug and Sutton the Sensitive, and Viza, vocal hater of stan culture, admits she's a huge Kathy Hilton stan. "Who's Hunky Dory?"

Follow Viza DeCline on:

Instagram: @thevizadecline
Twitter: @thevizadecline
Her Website: vizadecline.com
And Patreon: thevizadecline

And check out Viza's podcast with Patrick Murray, You're Doing It Wrong on Instagram: @youredoingitwrongshow

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review on all the apps you have on your phone. Thanks for listening, lovelies!

 

 

Who is Mr. Poppins?! (w/ Tom Hearn)

This week Trash Box welcomes back the high-larious Canadian Comedy Award-winning actor/comedian Tom Hearn.

After shooting the shit about pandemic stress and Below Deck, it's time for a Beverly Hills deep dive. Emily and Tom discuss the fall of Erika Jayne (Tom's former favourite Housewife), the gift that is Kathy Hilton, the never ending Crystal vs. Sutton feud, and THEE ONE. THEE ONLY. MR. POPPINS. There's also lots of segues about body image, the definition of "convoluted" and the Kardashians. Then it's a hop, skip, and a jump over to New York, where Eboni continues to do all the emotional labour and fingies crossed this season gets better!

Follow Tom Hearn...
Twitter: @tomhearn
Instagram: @isthattomhearn
& his Youtube channel.

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review on yer apps.

I'm Getting Bamboozled Here! (w/ Gillian Bartolucci)

Welcome to another week of Trash Box and Real Housewives dramatics. In this episode Emily is joined by the hilarious comedian/TV writer/fitness wench Gillian Bartolucci, who's here to discuss the big Erika Jayne ep of Beverly Hills.

What is true? What is lies? Is Bravo really selling Ms. Jayne as a victim? Will anything be definitively proven this season, or will the ladies continue to kiss Erika's ass?! Gill also shares her dance-world connection to THEE "pat the puss" icon Mikey Minden, her thoughts on being longwinded versus interrupting, the art of deflection, and how she wants to be friends with Crystal. Hell, who doesn't? Well, apart from Sutton.

You can follow Gill @haggardb on Instagram. 
Follow Trash Box on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, and give us a review on the Apple Podcast app. Thanks for listening...

Grifters: What Erika Knew

On this week's Trash Box we have a surprise twist: No Marshall Lorenzo, due to scheduling issues. Just Emily Richardson, doing her best not to talk herself into madness. Don't worry! He'll be back next week.

First Emily covers the exciting new Orange County casting news, then dives into the Erika Jayne doc; we touched on it last week, but now's the time to talk about Danielle's hair, Danielle's one liners, Danielle's blinding ego-- oh, and the people Tom stole money from. That was truly disgusting. And, hint hint, Emily's opinion regarding if Erika knew is in this episode's title.

Then she recaps Beverly Hills (featuring a Jen Shah tangent), bad bitch Crystal Kung Minkoff, Dorit vs. Kyle the Interrupter, and the Erika that never arrived. NYC's kinda blah this week, but at least we get the return of the verbally abusive boxing coach, someone we were definitely all asking for and certainly isn't being shoved down our throats.

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, and give us a review on the Apple Podcast app. Thanks for listening...

Don’t Call Me Crazy! *Takes Out Face Roller*

Hello hello lovelies! Time for another award-winning (don’t look that up) episode of Trash Box! This week we’re covering NYC,  Beverly Hills, and then WHOA! We got a fancy screener for the upcoming Hulu/ABC Erika Jayne/Tom Girardi documentary “The Housewife and the Hustler” (premieres Monday) and we talk a bit about it... sans spoilies.

First up is RHONY. Everyone sucks except Eboni and Sonja, nobody knows what “white fragility” is, Heather Thomson has been in the “homes and cores of Black America”, and Leah has finally broken bad. RIP.
Then it's Beverly Hills: Sutton continues to unravel, we love Crystal and Kathy, and we hate Rinna (none of this is new). What IS new is Marshall BREAKING THE CASE and hypothesizing that Rinna’s Jackie Goldschneider-esque Denise/sexual assault analogy is actually about Charlie Sheen? It makes absolutely no sense and he’s definitely wrong :)

Finally it’s time for our opinions on the Erika Jayne doc featuring the talking head talents of Dana “$25,000” Wilkey, Danielle Staub, and legend/icon/woman Sunny Hostin. Our verdict: Tom is evil, Erika had to have known something, and watching interviews with the victims makes the whole thing even more disgusting. LOCK! THEM! UP! And FILM! IT! FOR! HOUSEWIVES!

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, and give us a review on the Apple Podcast app. Thanks for listening...

It's A Martini, Ladies!

Aaaaand we're back from our week off with good news and bad... the good? Emily's hand is healing! The bad? Marshall's dead tooth shattered on a piece of bacon. Help us, it's the last few minutes of Death Becomes Her over here!

But no matter, we shall soldier on. After brief coverage of the Potomac trailer and New Jersey's reunion finale from last week, we get to the important shit: Kathy Hilton's Beverly Hills Housewives! From the white noise fan to the night chips to the sleeping in to the martini prank, we are huuuge fans. We also discuss Sutton's uber-sensitivity and her white lady blinders. Then we ponder why (oh why) these women were so shocked by the sight of a grown ass woman chugging a martini. 

On RHONY Eboni is forced to deal with LuAnn and Ramona's white fragility, Leah's hit a sophomore slump, and Sonja is an artiste who likes dandy boys with pocket squares. We also talk about how all the current Housewives shows are dealing with the same issue: the new non-white cast members being forced to educate their co-stars. It's frustrating to watch, and hopefully these women start using their LISTENING EARS (insert picture of penis-hater Ramona plugging her ears).

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, and give us a review on the Apple Podcast app. Thanks for listening...

Week Off, Can You Believe?

Hey all! Emily pulled a Dorinda in Mexico: she stabbed her hand. Except she was sober (actually) and instead of a knife at the dinner table it was a shard from a glass that smashed while she was taking a bath. The doctor says nobody should ever take any glassware into the tub, so let this be a lesson to us all! Plastic cups from here on out.

A few stitches later, and everything's fine, but she can't edit any new episodes for the next few days cuz it's her dominant hand and it hurts to make it do stuff. So we're taking the week off and will be back next week to recap two weeks of RHONY, RHOBH, and the reunion finale of RHONJ. We'll miss ya! Have a good week. 

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, and give us a review on the Apple Podcast app. Thanks for listening...

And Introducing Kathy Hilton

Welcome back Beverly Hills! Things seem to be off to a promising start with the introduction of kooky Kathy Hilton DDT and the snobby Crystal Kung Minkhoff. Plus: our beloved Sutton gets her diamond, Garcelle has come to play, Lisa Rinna's on another bullshit apology tour, Kyle got a youthful nose job, Dorit's son Jagger is THE MOMENT, and Erica is unknowingly on the brink of total financial/marital/legal disaster. Sorry Glam Squad Mikey, your days of robotically Yas Queen-ing your boss' fancy Barbie duds are numbered!

Then it's over to RHONY, where Sonja gives us a repeat performance of the Morgan Letters, the apple orchard, that time she freaked about the family crest on the slippers, etc. etc. etc. Consistency is key.

On the first part of the New Jersey reunion, Teresa continues to be stupid, Marge had a meh season, and fuck off Melissa and Joe. Most of the recap is Emily gushing about how Jennifer Aydin is a star. Good job, concubine!

Like and subscribe, and if you have a moment, give us a review on Apple Podcasts, we'd really appreciate it.
Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Thanks so much for listening! 

 

Heal From What?

This week on Trash Box we say goodbye to Atlanta (we'll miss you ladies!) and Dallas (don't let the door hit y'all on the way out!).

But first up it's our favourite franchise, New York, where Sonja's being Sonja, Lu's being Lu, and Ramona's on her best behaviour. Alas, Ramona's very best behaviour is still startlingly rude. Just ask the help. Next up is the final episode of the Dallas reunion. Surprise! Kam is a racist! And now the Westcott brothers (Court and CHART) are attacking Tiffany online. Ugh, Bravo, fire her dumb-dumb ass ASAP. On Atlanta it's more unpleasant slut shaming from Kenya, but we also get some great screaming matches and truly ridiculous Marlo moments. And Drew's prayer? Inspired. Finally, we finish off with the New Jersey season finale, and, no, we want nothing to do with this phony baloney Melissa and Joe Gorga storyline. Sigh. Also, how did we begin this season on Team Jackie Goldschneider and end it as Jennifer and Bill Aydin stans? The world is a wacky place indeed.

Finally, we end our episode by circling back to Atlanta and discussing Porsha's engagement to Fallyn's husband. BONUS: Experience Marshall realizing who Fallyn is in real time!


Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review, all that fun stuff. And thanks so much for listening! 

 

Soft Spot For An Idiot

It's here. Finally. The RHONY premiere! We jump right in and cover it all: new Housewife Eboni K. Williams (strong start!), LuAnn's sobriety, Leah's nose job, Ramona's terrible personality, and Sonja somehow finding herself back inside that cursed Upper East Side townhouse. Sigh. We missed our New York girls! Welcome back, you utter fools. 

Then it's on to the Dallas reunion, which is full of racists. Then it's over to the Atlanta reunion, where Marlo sports a sexy floor-length leather bib, Andy gets kinky for Kandi, and Kenya continues to be exhausting. Finally, we head up to New Jersey. It's official - get rid of the Gorgas and Jackie, hold on to Frank and Dolores for dear life, and more pineapple cum references, please!

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review on the Apple Podcast app, and tune in next week!

I Hate You, I Love You, Have Another Drink (w/ David Yontef)

This week Emily and Marshall welcome a very special guest: David Yontef, host of the pop culture podcast Behind the Velvet Rope and real-life friend to many real Real Housewives! 

Obviously we do our darndest to suckle as much juicy intel as we can from David's brain, and he dishes on who's a sweetie, who's a diva, and who's a "horrific, vile, disgusting, repulsive human being." His actual words. We also discuss the latest Dallas, Atlanta, and New Jersey eps, the upcoming season of RHONY (Eeee! Next week!), and Joe Gorga's perfect tush. Oh, and Emily actually has her own excluuusive RHOA gossip she heard from a friend of a friend of a friend. And it has to do with who ACTUALLY (errr... allegedly) fucked Bolo. PIKACHU MEME FACE.

Be sure to listen to David's podcast Behind the Velvet Rope and follow him on the Instagram at @behindvelvetrope and @davidyontef!

There are new eps of Trash Box every week. Follow us on Instagram @trashboxhousewives and on Twitter @thetrashboxpod. Like, subscribe, and give us a review on the Apple Podcast app.

Born To Be A Housewife

Welcome to our 30th episode of Trash Box! Today we kick things off with Atlanta, and ask the important questions: Why does Kenya's 2-year-old daughter have her own phone? Why doesn't LaToya doesn't have a peach? Why the fuck is Drew playing her recording of Prophet Lott on a boom box? And is Shereé returning next season?

 

Then we switch over to Dallas, where we discuss the D’Andra/Mama Dee/step-mother drama. Emily goes so far as to track down the dead father’s memorial site and makes the shocking discovery that Mama Dee purposely left out the son and step-mother from the obituary, and claimed SHE was the dead father’s at-time-of-death-current-wife, rather than his ex. Wild, right? Sure, except… IT NEVER HAPPENED.

That’s right, from 33:50 to 40:32, we mistake D’Andra’s dead step-dad for her dead biological dad (Glen Simmons), and get totally riled up about the obit drama that DOES NOT EXIST. So feel free to skip that section (or just 'til 38:20, which is when we discuss the actual meeting between D’Andra/step-mom), OR listen to the whole thing cuz we're so sure we're correct and deeply passionate about our delusions.

 

Over on Jersey we rave about Jennifer Aydin, butt heads about Teresa's behaviour at the Turkish tea party, and yearn for a new Housewife that'll shake some shit up. Sorry, Melissa, you're just not cutting it anymore.

Next week we have a special guest -- Behind the Velvet Rope podcast host/Bravo guru David Yontef! We'll do our regular recap and also ask David everything about all the Housewives he's interviewed. Don't miss it!

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, and give us a review on the Apple Podcast app.

The Psychic & Delilah In A Bed Of Salsa

Welcome to another week of Housewives fuckery! We open this ep with our thoughts on the Beverly Hills trailer. Obviously we're pro-Sutton/anti-Erica. This is the only correct opinion.

In our regular recaps we open with New Jersey, where a psychic medium has a producer in her ear and Jennifer deals with generational trauma. Then we head to Dallas where it's more organized fun (blegh) and Kary "pranks" the girls by pouring salsa onto the bed. We also discuss the recent Vulture article about Bravo and racism. And then our favourite Pixar shorts, for some reason. Then it's over to Atlanta where Drew accuses Toya (give this woman a peach!) of infecting an innocent prophet with her Delilah spirit! Speaking of fun sluts, we finish this ep by discussing Grindr in Marshall's native New Zealand. Use pics, boys!

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review, tell your Bravo friends, and we hope we brought a little escapism to your week.

Fake Ass Bigfoots

And we're back! Please note that, from now on, new eps will be released late late Friday nights/early Saturday mornings Toronto-time (EST?). Cuz our schedules have changed. Anywho! Here we go!

We dive right into it this week. First up is a very special New Jersey, which briefly morphed into Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf starring Melissa and Joe Gorga. Except none of these characters are professors and nobody's getting nominated for any acting awards. On Atlanta it's Marlo vs. Common Sense,  Kenya vs. Porsha, and Production vs. Hurricane Zeta. Then on Dallas we continue to trash Brandi. And now Kary's on our shit list too, cuz she was rude to the Bigfoot guy. Don't be rude to the Bigfoot guy!  

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review on the Apple Podcast app, and tune in next week!

Sometimes Babies Make Mistakes (w/ Emily's Boyfriend)

JEN SHAH ARRESTED FOR FRAUD. Obviously we cover this dramatic breaking news that had us doing Pikachu meme face at our phones. But first, we must discuss Emily going viral on TikTok, and how her sudden brush with fame has immediately gone to her head. But then we tackle Jen, who is most definitely screwed. Lisa does not love that.

After that we cover Atlanta (room drama!), then Dallas (text drama!), and then... a special surprise. Marshall effed up and watched the wrong New Jersey episode this week. And Emily can hardly remember what happened. So who heroically swings in to lead the discussion? Eli, Emily's long suffering live-in boyfriend. He has notes, people! And an inability to sit still in his chair; the final third of this podcast ep has so many audio thumps, squeaks, and creaks you'd think it was that part in Titanic right before the ship splits in two. In other words? Pure chaos. The odd explosion. Enjoy!

Tomorrow we'll be back with our Dallas and Jersey coverage.
Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review, tell your fellow Bravo fans, and thanks so much for listening!

Clean Your Mess Up, Bitch

Holy shit, the RHONY trailer is here! And it has everything: LuAnn's new boyfriend Garth (Garf?), barenaked titties, a wasted Sonja, and some extremely frustrating racism from, you guessed it, Ramona "I DON'T HAVE THE VIRUS" Singer. Aye yai yaiii. We can't wait to cover it cum May 4th, cuz even a pandemic season of New York is still the best comedy show on TV.

After talkin' trailer, we dive right into Atlanta where it's Fallyn (ft. Golf Club) vs. LaToya (ft. Obnoxiousness & Drunk Driving [?]). Also, Kenya wears a Native American headdress, and just... WHY?! On Dallas Brandi defends her God given right to both talk to ghosts and judge half-assed Christians like D'Andra. And up in New Jersey we fiiinally get a Teresa/Jackie showdown. And it has dildos! Awww, we love our girls...

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review, tell ya friends, and we hope you enjoy.

 

Too Stupid To Be Mad At

Yes, obviously this episode's title is about Teresa. Anywho! We begin this week's Trash Box with shocking news — poor Tinsley got dumped by Scott the Coupon Bitch. Sigh. Evil (AKA Dorinda and rich, middle-aged bachelors from Chicago) won.

After that it's our recap of New Jersey, where Jackie still refuses to film with dumb dumb Teresa, Frank and Joe talk semen, and Jennifer's plastered pool party performance prompts us to share some of our own blackout tales. Then we head down south to Atlanta. It's Toya vs. Drew at the Nieces party (ft. Marlo's titties), Cynthia's COVID nightmare of a wedding, and the return of Eva. Did you know Marshall loves Eva? Neither did Emily. Out west on Dallas it's more racism, appropriation, and Brandi digging her own grave. Also, Marshall schools Emily on the term "cafeteria Christian." And there are snakes. And Mama Dee.

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review, all that fun stuff. And thanks so much for listening! 

Sorority Slime Sisters

It's Dallas and New Jersey time! If you're here for Atlanta, check out our last ep with guest Coko Galore (who binged all 13 seasons in one month). If you're like, "Nooo, I'm here for the ladies of the lakes, both Austin and George", then you, madam, are in the right place.

First up, the Dallas sorority girls, who can’t stop bullying poor Tiffany. We discuss if Kary is fun (Marshall's opinion) or the worst (Emily's opinion), how Mama Dee doesn't "GIVE A RIP", and the long exit of sad, sad, ignorant Brandi. Then it's New Jersey, where we talk about the @deuxmoi casting and production tea, if Evan is a cheater, and, as always, Teresa vs. Jackie. We end on the Bethenny/Meghan Markle tweet drama. Big surprise, Bethenny is not supporting other women. Especially women of colour. NEXT!

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review on the apps.

 

One Month. All Of Atlanta. (w/ Coko Galore)

Today we welcome funny/talented/hardworking Coko Galore, who may have just broken a world record: she binged all 13 seasons (276 episodes!) of The Real Housewives of Atlanta in ONE MONTH. And she'd never seen any Housewives before. An inspiration to Bravoholics the world over.

FYI this ep is allll RHOA. We discuss the most recent ep, but mainly deep-dive into the psychology and "unreasonable behaviour" of past and present Atlanta Housewives (especially Miss USA '93 herself, Kenya Moore). If you miss yacking about Nene, Phaedra, and Kim Zolciak, this is the ep for you!

Follow Coko Galore...

Bad Dog Comedy TV, where she's artistic/managing director

Twitter: @cokogalore

Instagram: @cokogalore

 

Tomorrow we'll be back with our Dallas and Jersey coverage.
Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review, tell your fellow Bravo fans, and thanks so much for listening!

Blow My Casket

Yesterday New Zealand was hit with two earthquakes and a tsunami warning. Lucky for us, Trash Box's Marshall Lorenzo slept through everything and is here to share his very important thoughts on Real Housewives of Atlanta, Dallas, and New Jersey. A true Kiwi hero!

On Atlanta, we're settling in to what's surely going to be our main season-long storyline; Detective Kenya tracking down who fucked Bolo. Let's be real, it was Porsha. On Dallas, we're still not loving Dallas. And bye bye Brandi! On New Jersey, we discuss whether the Evan cheating rumours could possibly be true. Hey, even a broken clock (Teresa) is right twice a day (maybe once in 11 seasons).

Follow us on Twitter @thetrashboxpod and on Instagram @trashboxhousewives. Like, subscribe, review on the Apple Podcast app, and tune in next week!